im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
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