so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
