4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
