At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if only i could text you this smell
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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