I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
