I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
