So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm passing your future prison.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
