he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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