Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Randomize
