Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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