Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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