his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
