yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
