can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
