Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you bring me the toilet please
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Randomize
