How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
