I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
