He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
