Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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