Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
