just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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