It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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