Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
me + whiskey = a bad person
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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