so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
