I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
