Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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