The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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