Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
