I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
