I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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