And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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