A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
