There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
