Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
