ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
