how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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