If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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