covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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