I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
