I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
