mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
