Whoa Z and x make the same sound
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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