She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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