Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
