You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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