God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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