you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
There r osticjed everywhere
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
