Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
