508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
