dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
