____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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