He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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