i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
