I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
